Last may, François Perrin arrived at Orly.
He had on two shoes of different colors.
That was THE TALL BLOND MAN WITH ONE BLACK SHOE
He was chosen from the crowd at random
to be the star figure in an espionage intrigue.
Colonel Toulouse,
head of a secret service,
used him to baffle a fellow agent,
the far too ambitious Colonel Milan.
He made him think the Tall Blond
was a dangerous international spy.
It was easy to fool him
since any innocent man, seen at close range...
looks suspicious.
François unknowingly foiled
Milan's cleverest attempts to catch him.
One of Milan's best agents, Christine...
got nothing out of François.
Instead, she even fell in love with him.
François' very innocence
led to Milan's untimely end.
That way, Colonel Toulouse
got rid of his far too ambitious colleague.
The Tall Blond's best friend, Maurice Lefèvre,
happened to see this massacre.
His mind was seriously affected by it.
The innocent François flew off to Rio with Christine,
a just reward after such a crazy adventure.
Three months later...
A letter from the Tall Blond Man, Sir.
"Maurice Lefèvre.
"Maurice, don't mention this letter to anyone.
"Otherwise, we'll both be in danger.
"I can assure you
"you are not at all insane.
"We both got mixed up in an espionage intrigue.
"Unscrupulous men chose us at random.
"They used us to settle a score.
"We were manipulated .
"I can say no more in this letter.
"Some day, when I see you,
"I'll tell you the whole crazy story."
Mr. Lefèvre?
A letter for you.
I'm Captain Cambrai.
Who gave you this?
I'm investigating Milan's death.
You intercept my mail?
I know what I wanted to know.
Toulouse used the "Tall Blond Man" to get rid...
of his colleague Milan.
Come on, Maurice.
The letter isn't evidence
but if you will testify, we can nail Toulouse.
We need your testimony.
No! I don't want to nail anybody.
You nearly drove me nuts.
So leave me alone now, understand? Leave me alone!
Keep your coat on, Perrache, we're going out.
We have to pay a formal call on our new Minister.
He was Minister of Agriculture before.
He is 45, with an unfuckable wife and 4 kids.
Which implies he will stoop to anything.
He also has a passion for Japanese fish.
They eat very little...
only 2 or 3 bits a week.
At Agriculture, I had a more practical desk...
not so high... and wider.
Here is the file, Sir.
I'm willing to support your investigation,
Captain,
but I'd like to know the reason.
Sorry, Sir, but I'll explain later,
when I get evidence.
The matter is too serious.
He likes to speechify.
He is smug and slippery as an eel.
He has a mistress 22 years old .
We've had her place bugged for 2 days.
She's his "naughty girl", he's her "big billy-goat".
The Big Billy-Goat.
At your service, Sir.
Glad to be working with you !
I thank you, Sir.
I know your reputation.
Captain Cambrai.
Perrache.
We'll make a great team.
I won't waste any time.
I just took office
but I have a job for you already.
THE CASE OF THE TALL BLOND MAN
Your colleague Milan had a mania
for keeping records on everyone.
This file is very interesting.
Poor Colonel Milan.
He was a remarkable man.
"François Perrin,
"alias the Tall Blond Man with the black shoe,
"age 32, unmarried,
"uneventful childhood... studied music..."
We're not interested in that.
"...first violin..."
Here it is! A note in Milan's handwriting.
"The Tall Blond with a black shoe
"is one of Colonel Toulouse's men.
"Top-notch agent, works alone...
"uses unusual front...
"plays violin...
"great cool, nerves of steel, a formidable agent.
"The Tall Blond is the most dangerous agent I have seen
"in my 30 years of service."
So he's one of your best men.
He's an exceptionally good agent, right?
Yes, he is a good element.
Bring him to me.
What?
Bring him to me. I want to meet him.
That's impossible.
Why?
He's away on a job right now.
- Where? - In the tropics.
Mozart,
Bach and Brahms on Wednesday.
He's playing in Paris next week.
Who?
The Tall Blond .
A good chance for you to introduce him to me.
Shit!
Couldn't that clown have stayed in Brazil?
You played your part very well, Sir.
I find all this secrecy a bit bewildering.
At Agriculture, we were more...
how should I say? Frank, more frank.
I want a complete file on him.
His obsessions, his love affairs, his vices.
I don't want to make an enemy of Toulouse.
He worries me just a bit.
I'll nail that Big Billy-Goat.
What's his tax situation?
He pays his taxes, Sir.
- Why? - I don't know.
The goon would have to be different!
We should've told him.
That you chose Perrin at random at Orly?
That he was just a civilian?
Just another face in the crowd?
A booby trap!
We can lose our jobs, Perrache,
and get 20 years!
Don't forget that he's dead
and that the Tall Blond was the murder weapon.
That "weapon" will be in Paris in a week.
Get me Prince and Charming.
Put the Minister on.
Col. Toulouse speaking.
You're leaving for Rio tomorrow.
Sorry to disturb you, Sir...
but I have very bad news.
The Tall Blond is dead .
He got killed on a mission.
Killed on a mission !
Ship the body home.
Have the body shipped home.
What?
That's a good idea.
Yes, Sir, I'll take care of it.
His latest brainwave is
to give him the Legion of Honor!
To whom?
To the Tall Blond, posthumously!
He asks me to write the obituary!
He wants a beautiful, impressive funeral .
Billy-Goat has delusions of grandeur!
Still here? You should be on your way.
"François Perrin, you did not die in vain..."
Now don't criticize, just type the damn thing !
"You died on duty on foreign soil,
"a brave soldier in a secret war for freedom.
"The free world owes you recognition and admiration."
Isn't it overdone?
Not overdone.
Stupid, but not overdone.
"It seemed you would never die..."
Shit!
Son of a bitch !
Wait!
For God's sake!
Come on, Christine, come on.
I'm going over there.
"You did not die in vain..."
Perrin's family, Sir.
Thank you, Sir.
You look better without.
Why a man?
We couldn't find an old woman.
With a veil, it won't matter.
I got us a few comrades in arms.
The comrades in arms!
Perfect.
And the priest?
What is that?
We'll get someone better.
What?
Well, get the job done, and hurry up.
He's not dead .
They missed him.
One got hit by a cork. He's in the hospital .
If we bury Perrin, he should be dead .
That makes it hard for you to work, doesn't it?
See you at the beach.
So long !
Do you love me?
Me too.
Pretty, isn't she?
She's my wife.
Are you married?
We're not married yet, but we soon will be.
We both love kids... we want kids.
Kids are so cute.
I love kids.
Have you got any kids?
I've always had kids around,
surrounded with kids, my father loved kids.
My grandpa loved kids.
My whole family worships kids.
We have birthday parties of 25 or 30
swarming with kids.
My wife and I want kids.
She's not as frivolous as she looks.
What's inside?
Sand.
Not enough, Perrache, not enough !
What an idiot!
Some kids buried me. Get me out.
You're tickling me.
Fooled you, didn't I!
We got him. No problem.
It's all over.
"No, François Perrin,
"you did not die in vain...
"You were killed on duty on foreign soil,
"a brave soldier in a secret war.
"The free world ...
"and France...
"owe you recognition and admiration.
"You did not die in vain.
"Your injured body...
"Soldier in a secret war for freedom.
"The free world owes you recognition and admiration."
He was buried today.
What?
Toulouse had your friend murdered .
In loving memory of François Perrin
CONCERT ON WEDNESDAY
Don't look so glum, Perrache!
He was to play next week.
He probably didn't suffer.
It couldn't be helped .
Captain Cambrai to see you.
The Minister's office.
Tell him I'm busy.
Seaside graveyards are invigorating.
Celebrating Perrin's death?
Who let you in?
I want you to meet someone.
Maurice Lefèvre, a friend of Perrin.
"Dear Maurice..."
A letter from Perrin.
You bring a civilian in here?
You bring them in caskets!
Read your letter.
"Dear Maurice..."
Telephone!
We don't understand. We did the job.
It's unbelievable!
Hold on.
You left off at "Dear Maurice..."
What are you accusing me of?
You murdered François Perrin.
You laugh?
I also accuse you of using Perrin to kill Milan.
Lefèvre no longer has any reason to keep quiet.
He will testify.
I've been waiting for this.
You're a disgrace.
You'll be in prison by nightfall .
I'm glad you're enjoying it all.
Hold on !
I'll go finish my report.
If I were you, I'd do the honorable thing.
"Dear Maurice..."
Come on, Lefèvre.
A beautiful exit.
I want a file on that snake.
Do you like music?
Perrin is very much alive.
He's giving a concert next Wednesday.
I'll leave you 2 orchestra seats.
What is all this?
You're mad to get me into this!
You say he's dead and he's not!
Calm down.
I don't want any trouble! So leave me and François alone!
I need your testimony.
Nothing doing.
I'm scared !
Toulouse is lying .
Perrin is not an agent and I'll prove it.
What matters is he's alive.
I said, you have to protect him now.
No, I'm not joking .
You must protect him, watch him.
If any harm comes to him at all,
you'll have hell to pay.
Shit!
It's all set.
In 10 seconds, it'll blow him to bits.
My god !
8... 7...
That one was extra.
Believe you me,
I've come a long way to find you.
Shit!
François, darling...
I know where you're hiding .
I won't be home this evening.
Stop the nonsense.
You'll be asked to do something.
Why are you in there?
You must say yes, understand?
You really must say yes. I love you.
That's enough.
Pleased to meet you, Mr. Perrin.
We haven't met but we know each other.
It is true...
that I want you to do me a favor.
What favor?
I'm counting on your cooperation.
You received the Legion of Honor yesterday.
Who? Me?
As a soldier.
I can see why you're surprised.
And that's not all .
It was awarded posthumously.
What do you want from me?
Our Minister is a complete idiot.
He thinks you're James Bond.
A mixture of Bond, Mata Hari and the Red Orchestra.
I'll tell you what to do so as not to disappoint him.
Varig Flight 320 arriving from Rio.
Are you waiting for Perrin?
Leave us alone!
Enjoy him while you can.
What?
It's easy to prove he's not an agent.
We'll send him on a dangerous mission.
He won't stand a chance.
You'll do that to prove your point?
There he is!
What does this mean?
That's him.
The Tall Blond with one red shoe.
Come on !
He won't stand a chance.
!(ÈÜæáÜíÜÊ)
How are you?
Answer me!
You're in danger.
That was Roger. Sorry...
What did you say?
They're sending you on a very risky job.
You're in danger.
I'm sorry.
What is all this?
Nothing, why?
I've got to run now.
I have an appointment.
You're so handsome.
I'm very sorry.
I've got to go now.
Stay out of things you don't understand.
He's unreal .
He has changed so much.
He's handsome.
Those clothes suit him...
and so does that tough look.
I'm beginning to wonder.
Where is she?
Where is Christine?
I did as you said, now give her back!
No harm has come to me, François.
We'll soon be together again.
But you must keep on doing as they say.
Please do as they say. I love you.
Me too.
Can't you let me see her again?
I love you.
Can't I hear her again?
Just once?
No, that's enough now.
I can't keep the act up much longer.
It's too stupid !
You're doing very well.
What's this about a "job"?
Maurice said it was dangerous.
What did he mean?
That was good strategy.
Yes, Cambrai is clever.
He has Perrin sent on a mission...
- Dangerous... - Very dangerous...
Preferably fatal.
Perrin gets knocked off.
And we're in trouble again.
I get "knocked off"?
His horribly mutilated body is found .
My body?
Cambrai runs to his boss to accuse me of murder.
But you really are a murderer!
Calm down.
Don't worry, we're going to foil that runt Cambrai.
Do your Orly act again and all will go well.
He'll smell a rat.
Your Minister is not an idiot.
Oh yes he is.
I'm not a complete idiot!
Of course not, Sir.
Explain yourself!
Explain this investigation of yours!
I can't accuse anyone without evidence.
You ask me to bring Perrin back.
I bring him back.
Then you say he's dead .
I have the body shipped back and buried .
Now you say he has risen from the dead
and you want to send him on a job.
I'm sorry, but I'm a bit puzzled .
At Agriculture, we never had such confusion.
I want to expose...
Colonel Toulouse.
Show him in.
Allow me to introduce...
the "Tall Blond".
Pleased to meet you, Mr. Perrin.
I've heard a great deal about you.
I'm glad Mozart has brought you back to Paris.
I have a difficult mission for you.
You want to send Perrin on a mission, Sir?
My advisers say it requires exceptional ability.
Do your "advisers" know an agent needs rest?
- What? - He doesn't have a soft office job.
He just spent two grueling months in Rio.
He risked his life every day.
The hero needs a holiday?
He's no hero now.
He has been drained dry.
He needs to recharge his battery.
Hold out your arm.
See what a nervous wreck our super-agent is?
I see what you mean.
- Draw your gun, Perrin. - What?
Now you can judge for yourself.
Draw your gun.
I forgot where I put it.
It's silly. I'm sorry.
Two months ago, he was...
the best gun we had .
Incredible.
He's a wreck now.
Try a few holds on him.
Are you out of your mind?
Not even a beginner would flunk that test.
He can't be sent on any mission.
He obviously needs rest.
Well done.
The Minister may be gullible...
but I'm not.
I'll hound you to the end.
Believe me, I'll nail you yet.
It's you he's after.
I'm out of it all now.
No, you're still in deep.
He won't let you go now.
He'll shadow you and get us in the end.
Unless you discourage him now.
But how?
You'll give him his comeuppance.
Me?
Give me the file.
"He was born premature.
"He weighed less than 2 lbs. at birth."
Go on.
- Why give me this? - Read on.
- It's sickening . - Go on.
It's none of my business!
You should read it - it's our weapon.
I don't care if he wet his bed till he was 12.
That's not the part we want.
"He has never seen blood . He has always been in an office.
"He did try to see some action in Africa.
"He volunteered for cross-examining suspects.
"But during one grilling, he burst into tears.
"He had a nervous fit and spent 2 months in a hospital .
"Then he went back to office work."
He acts cold and ruthless.
But he cracks up at the wrong time and yells for mama.
Believe me, we'll make him...
piss blood.
Make people piss all you like...
But leave me out, I'm through !
Calm down.
I want Christine back right away.
All right, but in pieces.
What?
An ear, then a finger, then two, then three.
You'll get her back in pieces.
You bastard !
Open the door, it's Cambrai.
What do I do?
I'm Cambrai.
I want a little talk with you.
Nice act you put on for the Minister.
Toulouse is a very good coach.
There are two ways of getting results,
gentle persuasion or brute force.
Which is he using on you?
No need to answer that.
I know what methods Toulouse uses.
This is a file on him.
Guess what kind of man he is?
So you too make...
files.
"Alphonse Toulouse was an only child.
"His parents wanted a girl."
I don't give a damn about your files!
"The future head of counter-espionage
"wore frilly dresses
"as a child.
"His schoolmates nicknamed him Dolly!
"At 22, he married an admiral's daughter.
"She soon had the marriage annulled."
It's Maurice.
- Am I intruding? - Yes.
You don't know how to use a gun.
It's not nice to eavesdrop.
Not now.
I have to talk to you.
Just one question.
No, not now, I said.
Snake.
Murderer.
Please, gentlemen, wait till he leaves.
Just one question.
Are you an agent or not?
I'm fed up.
Fed up beyond belief.
What?
Go away.
Answer me. Are you a secret agent or not?
Shit!
It's on fire!
I'll get some water.
Excuse me.
Three guys with guns in the kitchen.
I know.
And I don't care.
They look pretty tough.
I don't care, I said . Goodbye.
What now?
I got my answer.
You are a secret agent.
I never would have believed it!
Traveling around with your violin.
This is just routine - it doesn't faze you.
That's right. Goodbye.
Good Lord !
That way. In the kitchen.
I'll let you get back to work.
You can send your thugs home.
Would you mind ...
Scram before I get mad .
It's me again.
Sorry, but I forgot my cap.
Where did I leave it?
Don't let me disturb you.
People forget things.
I had a woollen cap with red stripes on one side,
white stripes on the other.
Funny how people forget things.
What a fool I am, here it is.
Wow, when you have work to do at home!
That was Maurice.
"Dolly".
I have never had a nervous fit.
See you soon, Mr. Perrin.
I am fed up.
Now we can take care of Perrin.
Nothing doing. I'm getting out. I need air.
Let me by.
I'll count to three.
One... two...
three...
four...
He's tough - he hurts.
Good for you.
All day tomorrow, that's how you'll be practicing
at being a super-agent. Without risk.
Little Cambrai is yelling for his mama.
Fine. Now we can get to work.
You walk over that grill
and you get machine-gunned.
With blanks, of course.
You drop down.
Pull your gun
and shoot through the grill.
Then you get up and go to that fence.
You break into the construction site.
I can't do that.
The board will be rigged .
You go in, and you get attacked by a Chinaman.
A Chinaman?
Tomorrow at dawn.
You're a very early bird today.
Didn't you need a rest?
The enemy never rests. I'm okay now.
You're already on another job?
No, the aftermath of my Rio job.
Stop pretending . I can help you.
I read your letter to Maurice.
I never wrote to Maurice.
Will you tell him that?
He said you were in danger, so I came.
We didn't expect him.
He'll add spice. Now on with the show!
Perfect.
You shouldn't have come.
He can't believe you're a spy.
He thinks they're forcing you.
Tell him it's not so.
Well, are you a secret agent or not?
What did you say?
Me? Nothing at all .
What's wrong?
His finger is caught.
Hell, do something !
Excuse me, I've got a job to do.
He does it on purpose.
No, he's always like that.
Now the next step.
- The Chinaman? - The Chinaman.
How's that?
My watch.
My watch, dammit!
Oh, I'm sorry.
Dumb bastard .
Well, I'm going home now.
What is all this?
I'm going home.
The car.
Look out!
You never rest, do you.
You shouldn't have come.
Hold this for a moment.
"A man dies in his arms."
You're on !
I'm in pain !
Why... why did you do that?
I'm in pain.
He's dead .
Come on, let's go.
He... he won't let me go.
You bastards!
The damn fool !
Hell, that hurts!
That wasn't part of the act - I'm clearing out!
Why are you moving?
He threw rocks at us!
Are you okay?
I killed a man.
I killed a man !
And it's not over yet.
Next act.
The karate act.
He turns left and there's a karate act there.
I made a small change.
What?
I cut out the karate act. Instead...
he finds Prince and Charming with guns and real bullets.
They kill him?
You only want to humble Cambrai.
So why kill the Tall Blond?
When you made the poor clown rehearse the karate act,
did you know he was going to die?
He turns left and that ends that.
I forbid you to criticize me.
Why is he turning right?
You told him to turn left. He doesn't know...
right from left.
I'm afraid not, Sir.
Where is he going?
I hurt myself.
What's going on?
What's going on, Lucien?
This halfwit kicked me.
Aren't you my man?
The guy is crazy.
Who is he? What does he want?
I can explain, lady.
Well, well, well !
I can explain. It was just an act. I was supposed to hit a guy.
A cop stopped them.
He's arresting Perrin.
Get him released and give him back his girl.
Let's end this once and for all.
Tonight at the concert.
Where is he?
I don't know. He ran off.
Are you convinced now?
He's an agent, isn't he?
I'm not sure any more.
I'm not sure.
They've swallowed our act, hook, line and sinker.
If Perrin is killed now...
they'll think he was a top-notch agent.
You understand, tonight at the concert.
We execute him.
He's obviously leading a double life!
3 months ago, he had 5 corpses at home!
He forgot his gun. I'll take it back to him.
Don't play with that.
I said not to play with it, you nitwit!
The bullet.
The bullet?
The windshield .
What about it?
For God's sake!
You here?
Your gun has blanks in it.
- Now listen here, Maurice. - Come on.
- Where to? - Come on, I said.
Undress and get in bed.
Get in bed with my wife - your life is in danger.
Your life is in danger.
Get on top of Paulette, she'll tell you what to do.
Here they come.
He should be here by now.
I didn't expect to see you so soon.
Do you know Paulette?
Sure, you know, Maurice's wife.
How do you do?
Above all, don't judge from appearances.
Paulette came to say hello... and well, there you are.
What is this?
Nothing . Now don't get dramatic.
We had an hour to kill... and you know how it is.
I've lost an earring .
Anyway, I'm glad to see you.
I was worried .
My earring .
It was awful waiting to get you back.
I was a bundle of nerves.
Stop it, Paulette! She's a tease.
It isn't true.
Go on, tell her.
Yes, tell her.
I've gone back to Paulette.
We've always hit it off pretty well.
I should've chosen a better time to tell you.
But we can't control our sex urge, can we?
Is that all you can say?
I'll say more when we're alone together, get me?
I get you.
I get you very well .
Dames are so complicated !
Well, friend, you fooled me that time
and I can assure you that's not easy.
Come on, get in !
He's with a woman.
I know, my wife.
Blow your nose and listen carefully.
You tried to kill Perrin.
If you do, Maurice will testify against you.
He gave me his word. Understand?
Stop Prince and Charming quick. Hurry!
He's dead .
I'll keep my word.
I'll testify against Colonel Toulouse.
Out of my way.
You've lost, now don't be a fool.
Move or I'll shoot.
Not in front of 800 people!
We too can stage acts, Colonel .
And we can use blanks also.
I have to hand it to you !
Congratulations.
Where are you going?
You suggested I do the "honorable thing".
Thank you.
Please keep calm, the incident is over.
The concert will now continue.
I am sorry, but it was in the interest of justice.
I wish to thank the orchestra for cooperating.
I especially want to thank François Perrin.
Thank God Cambrai believes in "honorable things".
We're going straight to Orly Airport.
I want to thank you too.
In the name of those you spy on and manipulate
and whose lives you casually disrupt,
I want to say thank you.
I think I'll go back to Agriculture.